Depression … ever thought that you might be caught in a trap of virtual realities, created by your very own head?!
Its the fault of the times we live in as most of us in America right now are not fighting any wars, or not brewing any revolutions in our backyard. The brain doesn’t know how to engage itself since a part of it is still partly the reptilian.
We Build a Destructive World
We seek the fight, fright, and freeze. We are all addicted to the adrenalin rush and when we can’t get enough, we fall from crevices into the canyons of nothingness. In that nothingness, we build a world. A world of abstracts, of fears, of looming demons of loneliness.
We create foes with our emotions and fight our shadows ferociously. We even stop dead in our tracks dumbfounded by our own vicious thoughts, our imaginations that run awry creating our own armies that fight the holy wars with our own thoughts.
The “Crusaders” we live on. We fight it bloody, we fight it gory, till we shred our self-image and esteem to shreds. We whip and lash our beliefs and ideas, we burn every value we stood by, we entangle ourselves into the prickly wires of self-doubts. We create our hell where we burn in our own wrath!
Rocking in the Cradle of Depression
The depth of the depression we create is determined by the developmental level of our brain and the generosity of our spirits. It is the Malarial miasm as we struggle through a pattern of surrender and fight, naively fighting our own shadows, scorning our own Chi.
The Chi, our vital force, is conflicted. The battle is hard and long drawn out. We go to battle eyes closed, slaying our own selves, we plunder our soul and at the same time torturously keep ourselves alive through all this.
The tools used are venom smeared. We starve the body we hate, we pierce it with alcohol and other substances, we cut and follow the old medicine of bloodletting in hopes to get the demons out. The list is never ending and we often get creative.
We copulate in the dark to find allies to save us or toss us into the ocean for once and for all. We even create a blindfold of activities so the whirring of life can hum us to sleep while we rock in the cradles of depression.
Oh, the tenacity of the struggle of our minds!